Nostalgia can be absolutely magical...that is, unless you inadvertently play revisionist history and/or become a slave to particular parts of your past. In "Leaving Alice", I talk about my one of the most memorable times of my living in Oxon Hill Village in Maryland during the early stages of middle childhood and how what I considered a utopia was not the same experience for my parents.
lyrics
(Verse 1)
Once again we packing up, ain’t this like the fifth move?
Living life out of Samsonites, I’m only six, dude
Oxon Hill? Y’all ain’t get your proper fill the first time
Oh I get it, trying to charm us with a third time
But Shangri-La awaited by that water tower
Cycle Power tripping on this course for hours
Running to “The Truck”, spending chore allowance
Gimme all your Lemonheads, I’m ‘bout to make it quarter shower
This the birthplace of my creativeness
If Hasbro didn’t make it? Then I papered it
Legos in abundance while the Autobots were rolling out
“Hot dogs? Pork and beans? Dad, you holding out!”
Yellow slide spiral, bump static shock
Contests jumping off the swings, bruh, we had it locked
Comparison, not even Paris in my litmus
So how’d we get to average from an embarrassment of riches? (What IS this?)
(Chorus 1)
I don’t wanna leave, don’t make me leave (don’t do it)
Mommy, Daddy, please don’t make me leave (I’m goin’ through it)
On the verge of dreams I done prayed to see
So what you mean when you saying “peace”?
Yeah, I done found my whole swagger here
How you figure my opinion don’t matter here?
Maybe y’all can work it out, make your peace
Unh, but please don’t make me leave
(Verse 2)
Maybe in the midst of ear-to-ear with Miss Betty
On that overcrowded D12
Unbeknown, mom was all alone, tired from the pressure as the steady
While my dad was in his deepest hell
I’m way too busy saying “Countach!”, red Lamborghinis up in Motor Trend
To notice tiffs as anything but “here we go again”
Turned eight and couldn’t grasp moments canceled out
Probably should’ve asked for more than Jazz blowing candles out
“Slow it down, Momma, what you mean we gotta go?
Can’t afford it on your own? Where that pot of gold?
Christmas ‘85? Voltron? Five lions?
Long shot to stay together? Can’t you use a five iron?
And where’s Dad so he can answer for his crimes?
All that bamma had to fathom: get up faster for your grind”
Forgiveness is a fight
Betrayal worse than Baltimore packing up for Indy in the middle of the night, I’m friggin’ tight!
(Chorus 1)
I don’t wanna leave, don’t make me leave (don’t do it)
Mommy, Daddy, please don’t make me leave (I’m goin’ through it)
On the verge of dreams I done prayed to see
So what you mean when you saying “peace”?
Yeah, I done found my whole swagger here
How you figure my opinion don’t matter here?
Maybe y’all can work it out, make your peace
Unh, but please don’t make me leave
(Verse 3)
I miss Music Video Connection
Miss Sandra Clark and Laura Charles affection
Missing Animal and all his grammar woes
Miss watching Wheel, “What the deal? Pat and Vanna close?”
Missing baby-faced Janet when she grabbed control
Missing tapes with Doug E. Fresh’s “Show”, “Candy” cameos
Miss when radio was life and had me glued
And if I missed recording all my faves, had an attitude
But the problem being frozen in nostalgia
Now’s in low regard, the old is god, don’t know it stalled ya
Desperately, I seek the missing pieces
But steadily appeasing this amnesia isn’t peace, kid
What if all of my beseeching reaches regions
Steeped within at least a hunnid weeks of keeping secrets
Am I relishing my fetish for the drama?
Are embellishments affecting my perception of the trauma?
I loved Alice, dissed Savannah, Halley’s tolerated
Elmira’s street slang, alley conversation
Largely painted as a saint in contemplation
But wrong for me to chase and don’t embrace exoneration
Held my parents hostage for their intuition
Season seemed incomplete, but conquered their fruition
Double seeds, apples this couple sees
Though I’m often thrown, now I’m grown, leave this bubble be
When I slowly spun this dream of going back
Rap and tap, door to 102, hoping for a crack
“Hi, can I show you where I seen a lightning bolt attack?”
But Saint Elizabeth’s is called: “Hello, Joe’s a quack!” Hell no to that
Closest of approaches, ride through, reminisce and whirl
Regenerist is hiding wrinkles, kinda miss the girl
But if I’m gonna get the present gifts and pearls
I can’t marry Alice, gotta leave her in a different world...
(Chorus 2)
I use to hate it when you made me leave
But what was great to me ain’t your place of peace
Yeah, my glory started here
But my life story’s only part in here
If we stayed, I’m afraid to see
Kinda glad that you made me leave
credits
from The Late Bloomer,
released March 31, 2022
Lyrics & music by Joseph Lawrence Goings (BAMMpire Publishing [ASCAP]).
Produced by A.J. Throwback for The BAMMpire.
Recorded, mixed & mastered by Gladiator.
D.C.-born artist A.J. Throwback has produced for The Healacist, Ransom Rellic, Klutch Da Rapper, BRIXX, DH MVJOR, Lady Cee,
Debo Wayne, Mic Mountain, Anaymous Touch & Night Train 357. He has released two mixtapes, two beat tapes, two EPs, and was creator, DJ & co-host w/ Ramsey Brown of 'BARS'. In 2024, he released two R&B instrumental singles, "Something New" & "Fluent in My Language"....more
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